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Sherri Gordon, CLC is a certified professional life coach, author, and journalist covering health and wellness, social issues, parenting, and mental health. She also has a certificate of completion from Ohio State's Patient and Community Peer Review Academy where she frequently serves as a community reviewer for grant requests for health research.
Published on August 2, 2024 Medically reviewed byKathleen Daly, MD is a board-certified psychiatrist with a specialty in women's and transgender mental health.
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A superiority complex occurs when someone has an inflated view of themselves, their accomplishments, and their abilities. Alfred Adler coined the term in the 1900s, who believed that a superiority complex emerges when people try to overcompensate for feeling inferior.
The idea that someone can develop a superiority complex is rooted in Adler's individual psychology theory, which is based on the idea that everyone is searching for a sense of belonging, significance, and meaning in their lives. He believed people are motivated by a conscious effort to overcome feelings of inferiority by developing to achieve their goals. However, when other factors get in the way of that natural development—like abuse, neglect, or pampering—a superiority complex can develop instead.
According to Adler, the development of a superiority complex is influenced by a person's upbringing, including how they were treated as children and what they observed growing up. Mental health conditions can also play a role in the development of a superiority complex.
Adler believed that when children experience abuse or neglect, faulty guidance, or extreme pampering, this could lead to feelings of inferiority. Then, in an effort to overcome or compensate for those feelings of inferiority, kids develop feelings of superiority that they then carry with them into adulthood.
With pampering, in particular, Adler believed that kids who were coddled and made the center of the universe at home had trouble adjusting once they started school, especially because they felt entitled and that people should cater to their needs. Instead of learning to cooperate or contribute, they then strive for superiority. This pattern of behavior and thinking continues into adulthood.
Narcissism and superiority complex have several traits in common. One of the key traits of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is feeling superior to other people, which, like a superiority complex, is rooted in feelings of inferiority.
People with narcissism feel they are more valuable or worthy than other people. They also feel entitled and that people should cater to their needs.
Although a superiority complex is not listed in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5) as an official diagnosis, many clinicians in the mental health field recognize that the condition can occur, especially since it overlaps with diagnosable mental health conditions like narcissistic personality disorder.
Common signs of a superiority complex include:
There is limited evidence of how a superiority complex can affect a person and those around them. That's because a superiority complex is not diagnosable, according to the DSM-5. However, because a superiority complex is so closely related to narcissistic personality disorder, experts theorize that the effects of NPD can sometimes overlap with the effects of a superiority complex.
For instance, having a superiority complex can be off-putting to other people in relationships and workplaces. The arrogance, sense of entitlement, and overestimation of their abilities may push people away or make it difficult for people with a superiority complex to develop meaningful relationships. These traits can sometimes also cause anger and disregard for other people's feelings, which may contribute to a lack of empathy.
Being in a relationship with someone who has a superiority complex can be challenging, emotionally draining, and sometimes even hurtful. It may help to remind yourself that these feelings of superiority are coming from a place of feeling inferior and needing to compensate for that. This could help you avoid taking their words to heart.
That said, this does not give them the right to hurt you, nor does it mean that you should endure their behavior for the sake of the relationship. Instead, you can take steps to help manage the situation and protect your mental health.
Even though you want to be supportive and understand the past trauma or hurt feelings that may be causing your partner's superiority complex, this doesn't mean you should negate your own needs. You have a right to be treated fairly, with kindness and respect. It also doesn’t make you a bad person or unloving to protect your emotional health.
Instead, start by communicating what you want and how you wish to be treated. However, it's important to keep in mind that your partner may or may not honor your requests. In these situations, they may lack the empathy or understanding to truly make a change without outside help. Their reactions can often help you understand when to seek professional support or end the relationship.
It can be challenging to set boundaries when someone has a superiority complex because they often feel entitled or that people should cater to their needs. However, this does not mean you shouldn't try. Healthy boundaries communicate how you want to be treated and what you will do if this does not happen.
It's a common misconception that boundaries are limiting for a relationship. Rather, boundaries are an important tool that can help bring you and your partner closer together and ensure your needs are met. Not only do boundaries let your partner know how you want to be treated, but they also demonstrate that you are unwilling to be a doormat. Enforcing your boundaries is a sign of self-respect.
When it's clear that someone could benefit from mental health support, it's natural to want to help. However, it's important that you don't come from a place of judgment but rather a place of care when suggesting counseling or therapy.
Many people with a superiority complex don't always know how their actions affect others, so being emotionally sensitive can help them feel more encouraged. Try to avoid blaming, shaming, and defining them for their choices. Instead, talk to them about getting input from a therapist and how they might benefit without trying to force them into a counseling relationship. Ultimately, the choice needs to be theirs.
While you're trying to navigate your relationship, it's also important to prioritize your own needs. Begin by recognizing your experience and the effects your partner's choices have on you. No matter how you feel—whether that's hurt, angry, upset, or disappointed—your feelings are valid.
Keep in mind that while recuperating from an emotionally abusive situation can be challenging, recovery is possible, especially when you prioritize self-care. One way to promote your recovery is to seek ways to relieve stress and boost your confidence. While this will look different for everyone, some ideas include journaling, mindfulness, breathing techniques, exercising, and spending time with loved ones.
If a person with a superiority complex consistently hurts you emotionally, belittles you, makes you feel insignificant, or questions your intelligence or abilities, you need to consider your next steps. This may mean setting boundaries when communicating with them, and it may mean ending the relationship.
To help you navigate this scenario, consider getting insight from a mental health professional trained in helping people living in unhealthy or toxic relationships. They can help you put the situation into perspective and guide you in rebuilding your self-esteem and confidence. They can also help you decide how you want to manage the relationship.
If a person with a superiority complex is emotionally abusive to you or shows violent tendencies, the National Domestic Violence Hotline recommends developing a safety plan. This means considering how you would leave in an emergency and making trusted friends, family members, and neighbors aware of your situation.
Many people in abusive relationships who threaten to leave experience further abuse. It's important to keep your loved ones aware of your partner's tendencies and find a place to keep safe.
If you or a loved one are experiencing domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or texting "START" to 88788 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.
When someone has a superiority complex, they have an exaggerated view of themselves and their abilities. They may also embellish their accomplishments and talk down to others. While it may seem counterintuitive, these behaviors result from feelings of inferiority that likely developed in childhood.
Being around someone with a superiority complex can be challenging, but seeking professional support, prioritizing your needs, and communicating with them can help support them and support your relationship.
Sukhman is an editor at Health. She currently produces health content about conditions, nutrition, and wellness. She also writes stories covering public health, psychology, and women's issues.
